Roy Tang

Programmer, engineer, scientist, critic, gamer, dreamer, and kid-at-heart.

Blog Notes Photos Links Archives About


"Life begins at forty" -- Walter B. Pitkin

It’s supposed to be a milestone of some kind, isn’t it? Like any other birthday though, I don’t feel much different. I still feel like a kid (hence the “kid-at-heart” in this blog’s header), no more an adult than I was twenty years ago. More or less still the same person. I still enjoy the same pursuits, prefer the same foods, have the same hobbies, appreciate the same things. I would like to believe that despite the harshness of the world I still remain mostly an idealist. That in the face of chaos I remain stoic and committed to reason. That I can still step forward into the world with faith in humanity. (Though the past few years have been challenging to say the least.)

Not everything is the same of course. What is humanity if not change? Perhaps a little bit wiser, maybe a bit more battle-scarred, almost certainly a tiny bit less optimistic and a tiny bit more cynical. Knees a little bit more wobbly. A tiny bit more forgetful. Traveled more of the world. Learned more about people. Maybe even understood them a little bit more. Hoped, dreamed, disappointed, challenged, failed, got back up again, got hurt, hurt people back, achieved victory, suffered defeat. Seen more, lived more.

I still hold a lot of the aspirations I had when I was young. When you are young, you tend to dream ambitiously. This is the benefit of youth, your world is yet unbounded by harsh realities, you are invincible and everything is within your reach. These days, I think I still hold to the same hopes and dreams, but I have a better acceptance of what their probabilities are. And right now I’m at a stage of life where my priority is mainly to enjoy life and not to stress myself too much. Do things that I want. Work on projects that make me feel alive. Sleep in on rainy mornings. Read good stories. Enjoy the company of family and loved ones and friends.

Life and age and time, they come and go. This is supposed to be some kind of midpoint isn’t it? But who knows how much time we really have in this world? (Or how much time this world has at all?) Life and age and time, they creep on you slowly, in an almost unnoticeable manner. Days and months and years pass by quickly and fade to memory. All the more for us to cherish each moment as it comes and it passes.

Looking forward to the next forty.

Posted by under post at #birthday
Also on: tumblr twitter / 0 / 433 words

See Also