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Days seem to fly by at such an unforgiving pace. Has it really been thirty-one years now?

I have a lot to be thankful for the past thirty-one years. Family, friends and other wonderful people that provide love and support; a roof over my head, three square meals a day minimum and a nice, stable and well-paying job. For all of these, I am thankful.

One would think that at such a point in my life, I would be very satisfied for having been so blessed.

I was never one for being so easily satisfied.

I remember when I was in high school, I made a bet with a classmate that I would be able to become president of the country before he could. Our wager was worth one cubic meter of solid gold.

A few years back, I made a wager with an officemate who was about to leave my company to go independent; I bet that I would become famous before he would. To win the bet, one would have to be named person of the year by a major international publication such as Time or Newsweek.

I'm still a dreamer, I always have been. Since I was young I've dreamed of accomplishing something great. I think everybody has a dreamer inside them, especially when they're young. But as we grow older and face the different trials and tribulations of life, they start to chip away slowly at our dreams. Everyday we make some simple decision that trades a part of those dreams for something pragmatic.

But dreams have a way of being overtaken by real life.

We tell ourselves we'd just be working for a year or so, until we figure out what direction I wanted my life to take. We have so many options in this day and age; never has the barrier for entry into freelancing, entrepreneurship or innovation been so low. One year passes, then another and then yet another. But we still don't know where we want to go.

We say to ourselves; it's okay, I can work on my dreams in my spare time. I'll write a chapter a day. I'll code a few portions of my revolutionary web service after I get home. I'll do design work on my game on weekends. I'll brainstorm business ideas on the way to work. But when we come home from our daily grind, we're dead tired and just want to relax, or surf the web, or play games on our consoles. I'll start tomorrow, a familiar mantra. And days turn into weeks and turn into months and into years.

I need to get some experience first. I just need to save up some more money. I'm already doing pretty well, why ruin it? I'm pretty lucky to have a well-paying job in this economy, I'd be foolish to take risks now. I have bills to pay. These are the lies we tell ourselves when we find ourselves wondering what happened to our dreams, when we wake up to find ourselves trapped in the loop of ordinary life.

And we end our days, humble and simple, having lived an ordinary life. Just another statistic in human history, just another cog in the great wheel of destiny. And we tell ourselves more lies. I could've been great. I never had any opportunities. If only I had gotten a break.

For many people, this ordinary life may be enough, and that's great for them. They will live out their ordinary lives with their ordinary ending and grow old and raise their kids and enjoy the company of their grandchildren and they'll be completely happy and satisfied with that.

Again, I was never one for being so easily satisfied.

Thirty-one years now. Days flying by at an unforgiving pace. How will I find myself spending the next thirty-one?

Sun, Aug. 9, 2009, 8:43 p.m. / / blog / #birthday / Syndicated: facebook / 💬 7 / 640 words

Last modified at: Jan. 24, 2021, 9:58 p.m. Source file


I was playing FF9 again, here's an appropriate quote: "Life boils down to 2 simple choices, you either do or you don't?" Comfort has a funny way of keeping us away from our dreams. I for one was scared as hell to quit Azeus and go for an MBA. I was even resentful that I'm graduating during this hard times, where I could have comfortably passed through the recession playing Magic with you guys. I'm still scared as hell to what the future might bring, but I don't regret my decision to leave and get that MBA. I know its not my dream, but I know its the start of my dream. You either do or you don't.

Kerwin Tang said...

whatever happens, we'll have your back ;)

Cecilia Tizon said...

"And we end our days, humble and simple, having lived an ordinary life." I think it's a tad too early to concede. :)

Roy Tang said...

@Nik: Thanks! @JM: Ano na plano mo after MBA? @Cecil: I'm conceding only that this is one possible way for human lives to end. I have no intention of seeing through such an ending. :D

Ryan Tani said...

Inspiring. I'm in a similar emo mode right now as my 27th birthday approaches. I, too, am nowhere near reaching my dreams, but I guess that's as it should be. We all forget that where we are now used to be a dream; we just make up new ones all the time.

Anyway belated happy birthday! I'm sure you will be insanely successful one day, as people who have the initials RT always do ;)

Nick Solana said...

a wise person said: it's not how you begin, but how you end IT. THAT'S still a long ways away hopefully, plenty of time to do that beautifully. Go dream then if you are so moved, turn that dream into a goal by.... planning! happy birthday!


@Roy: I'm actually at a cross road right now. Nagiisip ako if I am brave enough to start my own software house, or go back sa industry.