I'm pissed off.
Today I went to Ortigas for a job interview with a nameless IT company where my cousin Rachel works. I was quite optimistic too — the position was for a "Java Trainee." I was more than willing to be trained, and a trainee position meant you didn't have to be proficient in Java right? Turns out I was wrong. =( Apparently they needed someone with some experience in Java, preferably with a project or two under his belt. I tried to convince the interviewer that I had a lot of raw talent and learn pretty fast anyway, but I haven't got any high hopes. That pissed me off.
Even worse, I had gone to Ortigas with just enough cash to make the trip back and forth. I had left a good two hundred bucks at home ‘coz I forgot to pick 'em up and put 'em in my wallet. I was thinking of trying out the arcade version of Capcom vs SNK 2, maybe buying a CD or two. But no! Now I couldn't even grab a bite on the way home. That pissed me off.
Later that night, my mother was watching "While You Were Sleeping", and I was feeling so depressed I was wondering what would happen if I ended up like Sandra Bullock at the start of the movie — alone, and working a dead end job as a ticket seller. Sigh
It's not just the fact that I'm still unemployed — it's been a good nine months now and I've kinda gotten used to that. It's the realization that despite whatever work I've done in school, I can't get a job. It's as if everything I learned in college was useless.
When I was finishing up in UP, everything seemed simple — I'd graduate and all my troubles would be over. I'd get a job at maybe Canon or Intel, save a bit, buy a new computer and a PS2, et cetera. To tell the truth I was probably spoiled by those teachers that kept telling us that simply being graduates of the State University was good enough to land a job. I ought to sue those teachers for mental anguish or something. I graduated from one of the hardest course at one of the best universities in the country, and I can't land a job. Gosh darn it all.
After thinking about this, I thought I'd evaluate my own skills to see what could be done. Lemme see, I can do:
- Embedded software. Since I did two thesis-level projects involving embedded software, I reckon I'm fairly good at this. The problem is that I've only come across one job opportunity where this skill would be useful, and I never got a callback (and I thought it was a pretty good job for me too.)
- Programming. This would be great, until I acknowledge that while I'm a programming genius, I don't actually have any application-level programming experience under my belt. I'm good a coding, optimizing programs, finding solutions to tough problems, but I've never been part of a large-scale software project, even though I could probably do it all myself, in theory.
- Web Development. I know HTML and various scripting languages, can use Macromedia Dreamweaver and Flash, what can't I do? The problem comes up again: I know it all in theory, but lack the experience. It's not like I'm churning out webpages at a dime a dozen, and most places looking for web developers ask for some level of experience. Curses.
- Write. Or at least I like to think I can. But it doesn't sound very profitable to be writing for a living...
Sigh, that's it. Pretty sad, huh? The main problem seems to be most of what I can do is self-taught and relies on my raw talent instead of actual experience. What is it with the world? Why can't they just recognize my genius and overlook my lack of experience? I learn impossibly fast anyway, anything I don't know I can pick up quickly. Argh.
Oh well, at least now I feel better, having put my thoughts into words. This journal thing is probably really healthy for me. I get to whine without burdening anyone with my problems.
There's still some hope, at least. Sir Louie, the ECE guy Tito Ferry set me up with, said he'd ask around, although he did recommend I learn a few more skills by taking some short courses at APC, an IT school near SM North. I'm a bit hesistant about that though — short courses will undoubtedly cost money, and I don't want to bother my parents about cash any more than I have to. It's bad enough I can't help them make ends meet...
Anything else? Lately we've been watching Excel Saga (ridiculosuly funny! Pedro!!!) and Scryed. AXN is showing two new anime series: Ayashi no Ceres and Gensomaden Saiyuki. And they brought back Monday night anime, so more anime all around. Oh yeah, the A/V cable for our PSX is apparently busted. Which probably explains why I got rather pissed off today. Just when I was gonna get adult Rei back into the party! Without the PSX to distract me, I had no choice but to face my real-world problems
In any case, I guess I have no choice but to keep going and hope for the best. I got a nice quote today from Castaway, from Tom Hanks of all people:
"I know now I have to keep on breathing. Because the sun will rise tomorrow, and you never know what the tide will bring."